Archives for "May, 2009"
Richard Hammond is Frodo Baggins
There’s an unbearably cringey ad series out at the moment for Telecom NZ’s new XT Mobile Network. If you have a television, there’s no way you haven’t already seen it.
Watch the end of the first ad below. Richard Hammond couldn’t look or sound any more like Frodo Baggins if he had hairy rubber feet on [...]
Phil Spector looks like a creepy old child molester
Phil Spector has just been sentenced to 19 years to life in prison for murder. I continue to be surprised by this whenever I see a picture of him.
Let’s face it, if you didn’t know who he was, and you had to assign the most likely crime to the mugshot alone, you’d definitely go child [...]
Readership Review – How people arrived at Brainwashable
My search traffic is useless, the most poorly qualified of all the whole Internet. Seriously, a total bunch of whack-jobs with hand-lotion and tissues ever at the ready. This is primarily because I talk on topics as disparate as Mormon cinema, Billy Corgan at the Basin Reserve and anal cavity search of prisoners. There is [...]
Is it too late for me and Patricia Arquette?
According to her Wikipedia page, Patricia Arquette divorced her second husband Thomas Jane in January 2009. While I don’t like to capitalise on the misfortunes of others, this does give me the perfect window of opportunity to marry her myself.
Back in the mid-90s I decided we would be married after watching her as Alabama Whitman [...]
Robbie Magasiva is in everything
Recently I’ve been catching up on NZ films that I should have seen ages ago. So I watched Sione’s Wedding, which was fantastic, and then Stickmen which wasn’t so great but okay. Common to both was Robbie Magasiva playing essentially the same character: an oversexed Samoan beefcake.
Then I realised that Robbie Magasiva has been in every NZ [...]
I got a nautical-themed Pashmina afghan
I have a new favourite lyric of all time. It’s from I’m on a Boat by The Lonely Island:
“I’m on a boat and it’s going fast and
I got a nautical-themed Pashmina afghan”
Although it’s obviously crowbarred in, it’s still impressive that they got it in, and it is just amazing. Perfect. As art, this single line [...]
Seafood fetishist Don McGlashan thinks his shit don’t stank
One of my favourite Simpson’s characters is Troy McClure, a lovable washed up actor: ‘Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such nature films as Earwigs: Eww! and Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory.’
In a season 7 episode called ‘A Fish Called Selma’, McClure marries a human woman after rumours about a [...]