Archives for "Celebrities"
Is it too late for me and Patricia Arquette?
If it's convenient to you, you can put that out on my arm Pat
According to her Wikipedia page, Patricia Arquette divorced her second husband Thomas Jane in January 2009. While I don’t like to capitalise on the misfortunes of others, this does give me the perfect window of opportunity to marry her myself.
Back in the mid-90s I decided we would be married after watching her as Alabama Whitman in True Romance (a Quentin Tarantino-penned film curiously directed by Tony Scott of Top Gun ‘fame’).
I defy you to watch this film and not fall deeply in love with Alabama. She has this sweet voice, an other-worldly beauty, and ‘tastes like a peach’ as confirmed by Dennis Hopper, who played Alabama’s father-in-law, when he brazenly cops a pash (he lives alone in a trailor, he’d earned it).
Recently I saw her again in Lost Highway, a fucked-up (redundant as an adjective here, I know) David Lynch film. Again, she was amazing. A really intense performance, quite a change from the cutesy-pie of True Romance. Continue Reading
Billy Corgan at the Basin Reserve, WTF?
Comes in at 7, typically blazes away fearlessly (click image for large version)
Today I was thinking, ‘I wonder what Billy Corgan is up to these days?’
On his wikipedia page someone has added this somewhat arbitrary detail to the Personal Life section:
“In March 2008, Billy was spotted in the crowd at the final day of the cricket test match between New Zealand and England in Wellington.”
Hardly a key moment in Corgan’s life but, sadly, as of today, one of the best moments of mine. Certainly of more interest than such trifling details as his musical influences or his relationship with Courtney Love. Yawn.
I cannot adequately express how weird reading this made me feel. This event represents a convergence of my two favourite mid-nineties pursuits, cricket and the Smashing Pumpkins – the only things in life that were worth a damn. Oh for those carefree, halcyon days.
Sharon Osbourne, Earth’s only hope during comet strike
You have probably seen it before: Minor Celebrity X gets into a cat fight with minor Celebrity Y – usually on a reality TV show – and then X insults Y’s family (spouse, stepdaughter, disabled pet, all of the above) and then it’s oooon baby and glorious gloves-off mayhem ensues. Once breached, the sacred ‘don’t mention the family’ code will instantly become the catalyst to transform even the most morally-retarded degenerate into the Mother Teresa of family values.
Sharon Osbourne may not have invented the art form, but she perfected and owns it. Sharon is the Oppenheimer of celebrity: “Now I am become Hypocrisy, the destroyer of credibility.” Continue Reading