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Phil Spector looks like a creepy old child molester
ACDC's best song is Let There Be Rock
Phil Spector has just been sentenced to 19 years to life in prison for murder. I continue to be surprised by this whenever I see a picture of him.
Let’s face it, if you didn’t know who he was, and you had to assign the most likely crime to the mugshot alone, you’d definitely go child molester. Totally creepy, like a Harry Potter fiend, and definitely scarier than Lord Voldemort.
In fact, you almost think better of him because of it, ‘ah well, he might have put a gun in Lana Clarkson’s mouth and blown her brains out, but at least he didn’t interfere with any kids – full credit for that!’ Maybe it was a defence strategy. Who knows? Me, and it definitely was.
But seriously, what an asshole. Five women from Spector’s past gave testimony that he’d threatened them with guns when they tried to leave his presence. Nice one dickhead.
And I don’t think he’s that great anyway. Wall of Sound recording technique – big deal. The Ronettes, the Righteous Brothers, Ike and Tina Turner and John Lennon – yeah maybe if any of them were any good.
Boy Racers are the new Folk Devils
What you looking at? Oh yeah, my shitty car...
This just in, an update on the recent Christchurch boy racer attack, complete with startling new made-up revelations:
Boy racers who attacked a female security guard near Christchurch International Airport on Wednesday night were merely responding to a ferocious attack on their taste in music.
Reliable witnesses concur that the youths only trapped the woman’s vehicle with their cars and smashed her windows after she had yelled out the window ‘out of my fucking way you Linkin Park-loving fucktards’.
According to these witnesses, the bottles were only thrown through her windows when her verbal assault on Linkin Park continued by claiming their new single, New Divide, to be a ‘cynical nu metal disgrace, and don’t get me started on giant shithole that will be the Transformers sequel.’
At this point witness accounts diverge, with some claiming that it was the hassling of the Transformers franchise that had actually tipped the balance toward violence, given that most Boy Racers have lucid dreams that their cars are actually Transformers and that they are the human guy who helps the Autobots all the time. Continue Reading
Seafood fetishist Don McGlashan thinks his shit don’t stank
"...halfway down Dominion Road, doo dee doo..."
One of my favourite Simpson’s characters is Troy McClure, a lovable washed up actor: ‘Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such nature films as Earwigs: Eww! and Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory.’
In a season 7 episode called ‘A Fish Called Selma’, McClure marries a human woman after rumours about a sexual abnormality concerning fish have sunk his career.
I can’t help but see undeniable parallels in Don McGlashan’s latest outburst. In November 2008, TVNZ used of one of his songs (Anchor Me) to accompany a montage of images celebrating National leader John Key’s election victory. McGlashan responded by stating that he “would rather have sex with a very ugly crayfish than let them [the National Party] use my music”. Here’s the full article.
There were just so many other ways he could have expressed his disgust. I mean, I get it, he was riffing on the ocean theme of the song, but that he had to qualify crayfish with ‘very ugly’ is frankly, worrisome. Aren’t all crayfish fairly hideous by default? Continue Reading