Half-cut workout: an exercise physiology experiment

Yes

A few months back I did a work out at the gym having just come straight from downing 3 pints at the pub in fairly quick succession.

I hadn’t been long on the cycle when I realised that working out under the influence was quite a different kettle of fish altogether, and that this was the perfect opportunity to do a scientificish observation: comparing working out while sober vs. part-cut.

A simple experiment, I compared the usual number of calories I would ‘burn’ for a given duration with the number I did while a little drunk.

The result?  7% more energy expended. Only the biggest revelation to hit the fitness world since Tony Little’s Gazelle Glider.

The reason: alcohol masked the usual pain of working out, I forgot what a lazy bastard I really am and actually pushed myself for once.

Working out drunk works on the same principle as spotting knife-fighting monkeys on the pavement outside. It’s all about distraction to forget the suffering that is not being sedentary.

The main drawback was that I had to piss 4 times throughout, which broke up the flow of the workout somewhat. Still, personal trainers should be very, very interested in my findings.