Foot binding for the whole body

After seeing a couple of Chinese gymnasts at the Olympics, I quickly devised an age/appearance formula to deal with the fact that these girls were clearly all about 4 years old:

Apparent age of Chinese gymnasts = Actual age – 5 years

No problem. I was able to move on… for a while. I don’t know why I didn’t immediately just conclude that if someone looks 13, then they most likely are 13, not a young-looking 18 year old. Especially when there’s about five of them with the same ‘syndrome’.

Then I read this morning that the International Olympic Committee has ordered an investigation into claims a Chinese gold-medal winning gymnast was too young to compete.

If they haven’t been cheating (giggle, snort), then it’s time to get to the bottom of this age/appearance discrepancy. The only logical, scientific answer is that the Chinese have applied advanced foot binding techniques to the whole body.

Only difference being, because it’s the 21st century, they’ve worked out how to eliminate the whole ‘O my God, that’s so hideously deformed’ aspect of foot binding. Otherwise the gymnast events would look too much like the smashed anus dance.